Ya Allah,kuatkan imanku.

Baru hari ni aku terasa kehilangan arwah.. mungkin sebab semalam aku kabur abis. mcm xcaye je arwah pegi semalam. aku baru sense something plik bila sorang kawan aku ni tetiba msg aku kate dia ada hal nak gtau so aku kena banyak bersabar. aku pelik sebab mamat ni pun jarang contact aku,tetiba ja nak text aku. then second text from Nabil sampai. "Bana,aku bok tauk Ismail Hairi bok ninggal pagi tek". Ismail Hairi. Ismail Hairi? Ismail Hairi? bape ratus kali aku rewind nama arwah mase tu pun aku still xleh nak proses lam otak aku. seriously aku terasa nak mual.

Semua memories. Omg. Ase cam xcaye je arwah penah rapat sgt2 ngan aku suatu ketika dahulu... Xcaye aku penah jalan bersama arwah. mane arwah pegi aku ikut,mane aku pegi arwaha ikut. Xcaye arwah dulu sanggup datang jauh ke kelas semata2 nak bergurau senda. And aku still menyesal xamik2 gambar ngan arwah masa last day arwah sekolah. arwah memang betol2 nak. tapi salah aku sebab aku wat joke sal gambar tu then xjadi nak amik. and aku regret masa dulu2 aku salu sgt gado ngan arwah sal benda kecik2. teringat time arwah jeles... memang lawak tapi... aku still simpan kotak ferrero rocher arwah bagi. ingat time arwah gelak dpt tau aku still simpan and transform benda tu jadi tabung. omg.. ni pun nangis xhenti2. study pun payah kalau fikirkan balik sume memories ngan arwah. camne nak lulus? tapi apa arwah minta dari aku,wat aku tabah and terasa makin nak laksanakan permintaan arwah.

But nak wat cam mane kan,Allah lebih menyayangi arwah.. bape kali da aku type perkataan 'arwah'. aku xpeduli la orang nak kutuk blog aku cam skema gler tah pape. i dont care. peduli la wat you ols nak fikirkan. aku type ni pun tuk meluahkan perasaan aku. nama pun blog aku. sigh... Ismail... rindu sangat2... rindu...

"I chose this picture,because it exudes youre calmness. I hope you stay calm wherever you are... I will always be praying for you. For youre peacefulness in the afterlife. If youre ever looking down. You know youre always being thought about and somebody is always praying for you. I hope i do recover fast from this. you wouldnt want anyone to be sad about this,im sure. Rest in blissful peacefulness." -Ameen.

Mohd Ismail Hairi. 1989 - 2010

Its 3.22pm and i still cant believe you passed away just this morning. For the last couple of days i was thinking of texting you and i wanted to do it today. Then i checked my phone & found out about this. Just last week,I was talking to Cikgu Fathi about you.

I will always remember:-
*the day i first spoke to you,outside my classroom. you had this innocent face (how wrong was i?) haa..
*when we used to text everyday
*when you elbowed me in the staff room,that was cute haha
*you as the only boy who still treated me like a friend even after breaking up
*when you were mad at me and you blew me off in front of your friends,i was so embarrassed
*i hated you for that,lol
*you went to my class to give me an Eid card eventhough you were still mad at me
*you told me you had a bad accident
*the day i called you when STPM results were out & you sounded so happy
*when you called me after SPM results came out & you were happy for me,awww. that was the only time you "showed" your happy emotions about me achieving something (cz usually you will always make fun of me)
*you gave me chocolates & theres still one more but xkan sampai-sampai selamanya da... :'(
*how Cikgu Fathi is always making jokes about us :-s err.. im pretty sure he's gonna ask me about you on Monday. :'((
*WHAT YOU ASK ME TO DO,inshaAllah i will make it,brother. i will never forget. never!

theres so many good & bad memories i shared with you. you were one of my bestest and understanding friend. and it truly breaks my heart to even type this.
i will always be praying for you.
may Allah place you with the people of strong faith.
Ameen...

~AL-FATIHAH~